Revising and organizing my plans for self love and better mental health, Draft 2
My mental health hasn’t been good for a really long time. It’s getting worse and worse as time progresses. Something really has to give, and soon. This affects my entire life for the worse. Now is a time when self-love and self-confidence could and would come in extremely useful.
• I have been told that it may be useful to start with appreciating little things and build from there. Yes, maybe I can try that. I want to go back to Tumblr and recently at Mastodon and review my Happy Lists—also there’s one at WP.
• And make a list of things that I think I am capable of doing fairly reliably. ◦ Try maybe to add an item daily...something like that.
Maybe I can put the list of • people to follow, • the happy-list, and • this writing here on write.as and • keep that stuff updated, either with redos or replies.
• Write about it and ask or invite people to share any suggestions for addition to the lists. That sounds like a productive approach to me. • If anyone takes an interest in this self-love project—either to encourage me, to hold me accountable, or to join in with me themselves—that’ll be good for me, too.
Maybe this could really help. I know I have a lot of weak points and things I’m not good at, but there are some good qualities, too, and I think, I believe, that I’m basically a good person at heart.
If I can train myself in some of the relevant, relatively weak points, I might be able to improve on them and gain some confidence by noting my progress, and tooting about my improvements—or setbacks, for that matters. Maybe I can make a dedicated write.as for my self-love training. If it works, I could really see a transformation in myself and have all the notes on how I achieved it—step by baby step. All for the better.
Maybe I can also meet new friends this way and build up others to be stronger. I would really love that!! :–) I’ve got to accentuate the positive, babey!
Don’t dwell on setbacks or negative thoughts, fears, and so on! Move on and leave them behind!
Okay, I like this train of thought. For now, I’m feeling better, and my focus is better, too. I should give this all an honest try and pursue a better state of mind. Attitude can change everything.
• Also, I can keep a record of encouraging messages people have sent me—for example, those I got yesterday related to HRT and its effects on the senders’ minds and bodies. All great stuff!
I can read those when I need a boost. That can help, I think—and without fighting or fishing for compliments or whining.
I guess I should avoid thirst posts and lewd responses, to avoid problems like the ones that happened recently. Don’t lose your head. FLY CASUAL! Keep a steady hand on the rudder. Don’t do anything to surprise or upset people—especially younger users (check their profiles first!).
And let’s come up with a way to learn how to depend on others less for my own self-confidence. Don’t let myself be at the mercies of others for how I see myself—and how I feel. The self-love projects may well prove to be what I need to turn that dependence around. That would be great!
Because I know very well, that’s a significant problem for me...but I should be able to grow and mature out of it, with mindfulness as part of my self-discipline.
I owe it to myself to have more belief in my own worth. I am not worthless. There can be a better future for me. And I can make it happen on my own, with dedication to this worthy cause. I have to envision the successes I need and want and deserve.
I’m not stupid, and I’m not such a failure or such a bad person as my stupid mental disorders want me to think. They lie—that’s their main stratagem. Don’t believe what they tell you—they always and only lie, exaggerate, pushing me imagine that all the worst-case scenarios are inevitable, but I have the power, and the volition, to overcome the irrational fears. These voices want me to be destroyed, and I’ll prove them wrong—to show them that I can, and to spite them. I may have some setbacks or relapses, as they happen to everyone, but the overall shape of my future can be a steady, gradual progression of forward motion, of growing strength and resilience.
I’m not alone. People love me. I want them to see me prosper and flourish, and they will be able to realize that it’s possible for them, too. They will be so proud of me! It’s time to quit digging myself in deeper. Time to climb back up to a place of safety and contentment. I can do this. I can do it for myself.
If I’m gifted, I should use what gifts I have, and not waste them: to help myself; to help those in need.
If I’m challenged, I can tackle the challenges one by one until I am successful.
2/4/2019. Working at implementing these ideas in specific ways, getting started at making progress!
I haven't started to make individual lists aside from those I have already started, but here's the state of the project as it is now...
Anna 2/4/2019